KBEAR101 - 100,000 watts of broadcast power

    There is something about being the youngest in the family. The youngest always seems to be the covert button pusher in the bunch. My youngest, who I love dearly, is suffering from depression. He also suffers from a sense of drama. If things are going smoothly, fine. Something simple like not getting an answer he likes to a question he asks can set him off and then BAM. His oh-so intelligent mind dreams up all kinds of things to irritate the rest of us. Now he sits down and plays his recorder as loud as he can. Ok, but does he have to sit in between his brother and the tv? Brother, who had a rough day of TAKS testing loses his cool and WWIII erupts again. It can rival what Mt. Vesuvius did to Pompeii. And then..... a bloody lip, nothing major. KBEAR is off the air until next time. I guess we will have dinner while it is quiet. At least the neighbors won't hear us eating. At least I hope not :)

Pulling ourselves together

Being homeless gives you a whole new perspective on things. I would say my boys handled the whole thing pretty well . I honestly think this last month has been harder on them than a year when we had n place to live. Just before Easter, my (ex) husband and I had our divorce finalized. He had filed almost two years ago after the kids and I moved out of the home we had all shared. He had moved out years ago but didn't think we should move without him knowing about it. So anyway almost two years later it''s over. Poor baby doesn't think he should have to work more than one job so when the court ordered him to pay a decent amount of child support he moved out of his apartment and quit the job he had. Now our boys have only seen Dad for a few miutes when he left off a support payment. He told the boys that since hope they do as well as in previous he didn't have a place to live he couldn't pick them up every other weekend and when he did it would only be one of them at a time. So far not at all. Now I have one child diagnosed as depressed and the other one almost flunking school because he can't concentrate. Nice guy, always thinking of himself. I lived with my kids for weeks homeless and this guy can't take them for a weekend? WTF? At least call the kids, you jackass. We can do this, though. I have faith in us as a family. I believe in my children. I am trying to deal with the discovery of arthritis and degenerating disks in my back but that will not stop me from finding a way to increase my income and move my kids to a bigger and better place. Anything is possibe. My kids will be okay. They know what homeless was like. Now they will know comfort.Writing things down helps me focus. I have the solution to the problem. I just need to show my work. Just like being in school. My boys are taking their TAKS tests today. I hope they do as well as in previous years. :)

Starting a new life as a ghost

I am starting a new life. I don't know if documenting this new life will help with what I am trying to accomplish but it's worth a try. I am 50 years old and trying to raise my two youngest sons as a ghost. It isn't going to be easy. Writing always made me feel better because people actually saw a part of me if they read my stories. If you are related to me you know I'm there but I don't stand out. Of course since I am a ghost, you wouldn't expect me to stand out because you can't see see ghosts now can you? Of course not, that's just silly. The thing is, I have been a ghost most of my life. I have had times when I wasn't invisible and things happened like getting married or a job change or having a baby. Having a baby was good because that meant there was someone else that could see me. As soon as the whole marriage thing got routine I always became invisible to my spouse. I will admit that it's hard to be seen when you're a ghost. It's not like I am the only one of my kind. There are ghosts everywhere.Some of my kids feel like ghosts sometimes but not all of my kids have ghost traits. Some not at all, some quite a bit.
At the start of 2009, my kids and I were trying to find a small affordable place to live in a safe area close to town. My kids and I had two dogs that we had to put up for adoption because we couldn't find a pet-friendly place. Just a few days after that traumatic experience, my son who was 11 at the time found himself hospitalized with a ruptured appendix. After his nine day hospital stay with me and his 8 year old brother by his side, we left only to find that the apartment we wanted was no longer available, we were about to be locked out of the home we were leaving and faced with the realization that we were now a homeless family. We were at ground zero. A family of homeless ghosts. Absolute ground zero. Nowhere to go but up. This is our story, so here we go. We are reaching for the stars.